It's Time for Tights: The Ettiquette (Rant)

Last year, I ventured further into the world of dresses & tights and actually wore some.  Big whoop, right?  Well, to me, that was a big deal stepping out of my comfort zone.  Dresses and tights were two things that I hated wearing the most.  Dresses were dumb and tights were pure torture.  Back in the day, tights were itchy & constricting; either the waistbands squeezed too tight or they rolled down which annoyed me more than anything else.  And let's not even talk about the tights that start off fitted and by midday you're stuck at work with the unsightly saggy knee.  The absolute worst.

On a whim last year, Chief purchased for me a pair of black tights and I'm not sure what possessed him to do it but he said they caught his eye and he'd like to see me in them (of course he would).  I tried on the tights and looked at myself in the mirror--figure flattering, nice!  Upon further wear I realized tights have changed since my days of loathing and now they're comfortable, non-itchy and super sexy.

And since jumping on the tights bandwagon, I've realized there is a certain protocol that must be followed in order to pull off the look. Before I start going off, I'll disclaim by saying that I know there are no absolute rules to fashion.  But some of these people walking around on these streets...they just kill my nerves because they are ruining a trend that I've fallen in love with.  I'm going to speak on it.

I try to keep a positive tone around here but damnit here it goes...

Tights Worn as Pants

·    Most leggings, even what you think would be the most opaque, give a peek of what’s underneath.  In certain lighting situations your goodies can and will be seen.  No one but some pervert wants to see butt cheek and thigh when you bend.

·   Tights were made to hug your body meaning it will accentuate your curves and thus, accentuate your cervices showing everything you’ve got. I don’t want to see your cooch or your “V”.

Take Heed:  Tights are best when worn with tunics, dresses & skirts.  Your bum and--as my Panamanian fam says--your "poom-poom" should be covered--no exceptions.

Panty Lines

·   I don’t think anything needs to be said here -- so not attractive.

Take Heed: Wear a pair of "barely there" or even better, a thong.

Neon is a No-No

·    Though we’re all aware that fashion history tends to repeat itself, some things should be left in the past where they belong.  Let’s leave the neon tights to the Olivia Newton John & Jane Fonda workout tapes of yesteryear.

Take Heed: Though black is better, it’s ok to venture into cool designs and color as long as the tones are not offensively bright.

So with that said about how not to wear tights, I'll close by saying that I love tights just like the next girl.  They're fun, sexy and they add a little more umph to certain outfits.  But please, let's wear them with care.